For once, Tiger Woods is using his head, instead of another body part that has visited so much trouble on him and his family.
As the carefully constructed public image of Tiger Woods continued its disintegration, Woods finally delivered a statement that, for the first time, demonstrated his acknowledgment that while he may be entitled to a measure of privacy, he is not entitled to total secrecy. His latest statement:
I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try.
I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What's most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.
Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.
Most experts (see what the Apology Index has to say) do not think this apology will be the last word, and I agree. Still, it's useful for Woods to be more specific. What were "transgressions" are now "infidelities." The time will come when he will be even more specific, not to satisfy the public's titillation, but because Tiger Woods will understand that it is in his long-term interest to tell the immaculate truth about himself.
Restitution
I regard Wood's decision to take a break from golf as a form of restitution, something that every effective apology requires.
Taking a hiatus from golf is an acknowledgment that he is not entitled to the benefits and privileges that were offered to him on the basis that he was, in fact, the faithful husband and father who shared the conventional values and morals that he led his sponsors and fans to expect he shared.
But Woods can't get by with impersonal statements on his Web site. Soon he will have to speak more personally. And when he does, he will not only acknowledge that his critics have a right to accuse him of being a self-serving hypocritical cheat and serial adulterer with little regard for the wife and children and morals he professes to value, but that on some level, he agrees with them.
Skip to next paragraphFaced with an avalanche of women who now claim extra-marital affairs with the world's most famous and wealthiest athlete, Woods has been in seclusion, his life and career entirely unworkable, his ads pulled from the air, the butt of jokes.
To redeem himself, he will have to face the reality of what he is, all too imperfect, just like the rest of us. Excruciating? No doubt. But ultimately liberating. No human being can long sustain the expectations of perfection that Woods conspired to impose on himself.
Controlling Outcomes
Effective apology becomes workable when people finally give up the illusion that they can control outcomes. The legendary control that Woods maintained on the golf course is totally usefulness to him. Control has been everything to Woods and his handlers. They have built a billion-dollar empire around the pristine cultivation of a set of images that are crashing around them.
No doubt the Woods camp is desperate to cling to that empire and is fearful of losing it. But the world might not be as punitive as Woods or his handlers think it is. The evidence is clear. When people are forthright about their shortcomings and limitations, apologizing when necessary, they find their scope increases. Penelope Trunk, the Brazen Careerist blogger, was at one time a financial columnist for Yahoo. For years she was fearful that the disarray in her personal finances would become known and she would lose the column. Then she decided that she was only as vulnerable as her secrets. She revealed her circumstances. The result? The column continued with a somewhat less fearful columnist.
Consequences
Will there be consequences to Woods? Absolutely. But the consequences will flow from the fact of his behavior, not their disclosure. This is confusing for many people. They disclose and they get punished. It's tempting to think that punishment attaches to the disclosure. But the punishment really responds to the underlying conduct. It's tempting, then, to try to "get away with it" by lying or covering up. But we all know what happens then. The stakes just go up, and the facts come out anyway.
Apology is not cost-free. It's just less costly than any of the alternatives.
Woods is slowly coming to terms with this reality. Stay tuned.
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