Joe Wilson's "You Lie!" Apology was Not an Effective Apology

Like millions of Americans listening to President Obama's healthcare reform speech to a joint session of Congress, I was dismayed by  the outburst from someone on the Republican aisle of the House.  The nation heard a voice yell out "You lie!" when the president was explaining that the provision of his health care reform would not be available to undocumented immigrants. 

News reports immediately identified the author of the outburst as South Carolina representative Joe Wilson.

Wilson issued a written apology and then telephoned the White House to  repeat the apology.  This was Wilson's apology:

This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the president's remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill.  While I disagree with the president's statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the president for this lack of civility.

Readers of my book have reached out to me to ask what I thought of this apology.

Not much.  It's good enough for President Obama, who wisely and graciously accepted it.  Here's a video of the president's accepting the apology. 

But from the standpoint of an apology that works to redeem Rep. Wilson, this apology is too reserved and careful for my taste. 

First of all, news reports suggest that Wilson's apology was not a spontaneous gesture but was coerced by Republican leadership.  It sounds begrudging. 

There is way too much rationalizing in this apology.  The reference to his emotions is an excuse.  It's no different than someone starting an apology like, "This evening I allowed alcohol to get the best of me . . ." 

I do appreciate that Wilson clearly specifies what he's apologizing for--lack of civility.

Wilson's apology would have been better served had he also mentioned his discourtesy to the president.  The president was a guest in the Congressional chamber.  Is this the way a member from the South, where hospitality is such a tradition, treats a guest?

An effective apology also allows the offender to reaffirm the importance of values that he or she violated. In this case, Wilson's apology should have included a line such as, "the decorum of this Body is important to me. Hospitality to guests in this body is important to me.  I'm sorry that my intemperate outburst gave anyone reason to doubt my commitment to these values."

Because he failed to apologize to his colleagues, WIlson is being threatend with formal resolution of censure or disapproval.  What do his colleagues want?  a formal apology from the House floor.  

 Where's the Restitution?

Wilson also ignores two critical parts of every effective apology: the restitution and the promise not to repeat the offending behavior. 

Let's start with the easier one.  Wilson's apology would have been much stronger had he ended it with something like, "I've learned my lesson.  In the future my colleagues can expect me to honor the decorum of this body." 

The restitution step is much harder.  But it's important that Wilson signal his realization of how damaging his outburst was by committing to do something constructive.  There are a range of activities he can take on, but they all need to demonstrate a sacrificial or humbling posture. 

Wilson could invite the President to his home for a beer.  There's precedent for that.  He could make a donation to a charity.  He could speak to students in South Carolina schools about the importance of respectful listening.  He could donate a book on effective apology to every school library in the state.  (I have a recommendation for a title.) The important thing is that he needs to be seen doing something of a sacrificial or humbling nature. 

As it is, while the president has accepted his apology, most people are still very angry with Wilson. 

One sign of that anger is that Wilson's Democratic opponent Rob Miller has raised more than $750,000 in grassroots contributions since the outburst. 

(Controversy apparently works both ways.  Wilson has been able to use this incident to bolster his own fundraising.)  

What do you think of Wilson's apology?  If you were advising Wilson, should he have apologized and, if so, what should his apology have been?