American political, sports, and entertainment leaders always do the right thing. After they have tried everything else. Big week for apologies. Let's get started.
Joe Wilson
The House of Representatives officially rebuked Republican Joe Wilson for shouting "You lie!" in the middle of President Obama's health care address to a joint session of Congress. Although Wilson begrudgingly apologized to the president, Obama accepted it. Wilson said that apology was enough.
It was not. In addition to offending the president, the South Carolina lawmaker's "breach of decorum" was an offense to his colleagues. The resolution, which states that the House "disapproves" of his behavior, passed 240-179, largely along party lines. Seven Republicans broke with their leadership to support it; 12 Democrats were opposed.
One of the goals of apology is for a society to reaffirm that it pays more than lip service to the values and principles it espouses. Insisting on an apology from a member of the community who violates those values and principles does that. For an offender, an apology serves to reaffirm the fact that despite evidence to the contrary, the offender really does honor those values and principles.
It would have been better for Joe Wilson to acknowledge that he was in the wrong not only with respect to the president, but to his House colleagues. I drafted this apology for his consideration. Joe, it's still not too late. It's never too late to perfect an apology.
By my actions during the President's joint address to Congress, I violated a number of values that are important to me. I was rude to a guest. For a representative of a people known throughout the nation for its traditions of hospitality, to be rude to a guest is simply dishonorable. On that point, I am duly chastened and apologize. There can be no excuse for such conduct and I offer none. I have already apologized to the president, and he has graciously accepted my apology. My conduct also violated the rules and traditions of Congress. To my colleagues, I apologize for the disrepute my outburst has brought on this great body. And finally to my constituents and the American public, I am sorry that my intemperate behavior has caused you to doubt my commitment to the principles of respect and civility. I pledge to visit every school in my district to help reaffirm the importance of civility, courtesy, and respectful listening, and in this way and by my actions going forward, I hope to repair the damage I have done.
Serena Williams
Tennis player Serena Williams targeted a tennis linesperson with verbal abuse after a disputed call. At first she refused to apologize. In due course, she issued the following apology on her web site.
Hey guys!!!
I want to amend my press statement of yesterday, and want to make it clear as possible - I want to sincerely apologize FIRST to the lines woman, Kim Clijsters, the USTA, and tennis fans everywhere for my inappropriate outburst. I'm a woman of great pride, faith and integrity, and I admit when I'm wrong.
I need to make it clear to all young people that I handled myself inappropriately and it's not the way to act -- win or lose, good call or bad call in any sport, in any manner.
I like to lead by example. We all learn from experiences both good and bad. I will learn and grow from this, and be a better person as a result.
Xxxx,
S
It's a fair apology but it should have been delivered in person. As part of her restitution, Williams was fined $10,500.
Kanye West
In a very bizarre incident at the MTV Video Music Awards ceremony, Kanye West hijacked fellow singer Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. Although less than articulate, West was very clearly repentant on an appearance on Jay Leno's new talk show (video here).
I immediately knew in this situation that it was wrong. And it wasn't a spectacle, you know. It was actually someone's emotions, you know, that I stepped on and it was very, it was just, it was rude, period . . . Obviously, you know, I deal with hurt and, you know, so many, you know, celebrities, they never take the time off, and I've never taken the time off to really, you know, I just, music after music and tour after tour on tour, and I'm just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else's hurt.
Way too much defensiveness for my taste, although I do like the phrase "it was just rude, period." Still, he needed to apologize directly to the person he hurt. West did that the next day, according to news reports.
The takeaway: it's best to get the apology right the first time. Playing catch-up is difficult and often impossible.
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