Memorable Apology Scene in the Movies: The Prince of Tides (1991)

This series has already considered one example of coerced apology with A Fish Called Wanda.  Today we consider another forced apology scene from The Prince of Tides

The Prince of Tides, based on the novel of the same name by Pat Conroy,  tells the story of Tom Wingo (Nick Nolte) , a teacher and football coach from South Carolina who falls in love with his twin sister's New York City psychiatrist Susan Lowenstein (Barbra Streisand, who also directed).  Lowenstein is unhappily married to a Herbert (Jeroen Krabbé), a professional violinst and an arrogant bully.

Midway through the movie, Herbert invites Tom to a dinner party at his Park Avenue apartment.  The scene opens with Herbert entertaining the guests by playing his Stradivarius violin.   But soon we come to see that the main entertainment for the evening is Herbert mercilessly humiliating Tom for his southern background.  In the process, Herbert humiliates his wife and mortifies all his guests. 

Susan demands an apology.  Herbert dismisses his wife.  "Darling, where's your sense of humor?"  he replies.  Herbert really does need to apologize, but as Susan notes, her husband has never apologized to anyone in his life. This we can believe.  Tom gets up from the dinner table.  From the living room, he picks up the Stradivarius violin and calls to the guests from the balcony.  Video clip is available on EVt1.

TOM (in an exaggerated Southern accent):  Herbie!  Southern boy has got a hold of your fiddle.  [dangling the Stradivarius eight floors above Fifth Avenue]  Better hurry now, it's getting heavy!

HERBERT:  What do you think you're doing? 

Tom (imitating Herbert):  Darling, where's your sense of humor?

Herbert:  That Stradivarius is worth over a million dollars.

Tom:  Well if I drop it, it won't be worth shit.  Apologize to your wife!

Herbert:  You're bluffing.

Tom:  I may be, but it's a powerful bluff, isn't it asshole? 

Herbert:  I'm sorry, Susan.

Tom:  Sincerity becomes you, Herbie.  Now apologize to me for your unforgivable breach of etiquette at the dinner table tonight, you possum-breathed cock sucker.

Herbert (defeated):  I'm sorry, Tom.

Tom (tossing the violin to Herbert and walking out):  You all sure know how to give a party up here in New York City. 

It's a delicious scene. 

Of course, a coerced apology is never an effective apology, but it is satisfying to see a blowhard and bully such as Herbert brought low.    

It is telling of the screenwriters to have Tom repeat the line, "Darling, where's your sense of humor?" in response to Susan's request for an apology. 

Such a response is characteristic of a bully who frames the situation not in terms of his own offense but in the sensibilities of the victim. 

Herbert's response is a variation of the statement, "I apologize for anything I may have done that you feel was over the line."  It suggests the offense may not have happened, and even if it did, the problem lies not with the offender's conduct, but the victim's excess sensitivities or inability to take a joke.  Such a statement is infuriating for the victim for whom the offense is very real.