Susan is an employee of a company and her manager has called her into his office. A copy of Susan's recent expense report is on his desk. He asks Susan to sit. He asks about an item she charged as a "business dinner." In fact, the charge was for a personal dinner entirely social in nature which had nothing to do with business.
How should Susan respond?
This was one of five scenarios posed to me by Colleen Rush, who was on assignment for Cosmopolitan Magazine. What is the appropriate response, she asked, for someone in this situation?
We agreed that the worst thing Susan could do was lie, deny, or stonewall. The coverup is always worse than the underlying crime. I suggested that since Susan did, in fact, abuse the trust that was placed in her, she needed to accept responsibility and apologize. I spent a chunk of the interview explaining what kind of apology this kind of situation requires.
It's not only what we do that counts. It's what we do about what we do that defines our charaacter.
Susan has a chance to be true to her values she violated. She may not be able to reclaim her job, but she can begin the work of reclaiming her integrity.
Here's the apology I crafted for Susan.
Susan's Apology
I'm here to apologize. I did charge a personal expense to the company as a business expense. I knew doing so was against company policy. Moreover, it violated my own sense of integrity. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. I have no excuse. I don't expect you to believe me, but this was the first and only time I did something like this. I'm so sorry that I violated your trust. I will reimburse the company for the personal dinner I dishonestly expensed. I promise to never again abuse the company's trust.
I value my association with the company and I want to keep the job I have put at risk. In this envelope is a letter of resignation. I will understand if you choose to accept it. But I hope you will allow me to demonstrate going forward that your trust in me is not misplaced and that I can be a valuable contributor. In either case, I hope you can accept my apology.
Are You Nuts?
I heard from a number of people who said it was foolish of Susan to offer to resign. "Don't put any ideas in the manager's head!" was the common theme.
But it's a certainty that the manager has already considered firing Susan. Indeed, the decision may already have been made. But if there's a chance she can keep her job, it seems to me that by handing her manager a letter of resignation, Susan demonstrates how seriously she considers her infraction. The letter, along with reimbursing the company, becomes part of Susan's restitution, making her apology more powerful.
You can't talk your way out of a situation you acted your way into. Susan needs to do something besides say the right words to keep her job.
Susan may well end up unemployed. She made a serious error in judgment and consequences apply. Apologizing is not cost-free. Apologizing is just less costly than the alternatives.
What do you think?
Is there another apology you would craft for Susan?
If you were Susan's manager, would you cut her some slack (maybe with probation) or terminate her?
Extra Credit
This scenario assumes that this violation was the first and only time Susan abused the expense account system. But what if Susan's expense reports include a number of similar violations? How would you adjust the apology?
I think this is a perfectly intelligent response for Susan. At this point she has damaged her trust with the company, and so even if she says all the right things (which it appears she does in the scenario above), her past actions have diminished the current power of her words. If her employer is smart, he or she will be far more observant of Susan's actions than her words at this point (though the words are still essential of course). Bravo -- I like this a lot. But I wonder how many people can be this genuine? I hope many more than I suspect.