Evidence shows that, in general, women have an easier time apologizing than men. But power and politics skews the balance. Sexism is also implicated. It's hard to unpack the influences, but I'll try.
Some background. Last January, Lisa Raitt, Canada's Minister of Natural Resources, was under fire for a medical isotopes crisis that delayed thousands of cancer patients from getting treatment. So people were rightfully upset.
Raitt then made a classic political blunder. She said something stupid and political. She described the shortage of isotopes used in cancer tests as a "sexy" issue from which she could benefit politically.
She made her controversial comments in a private conversation with her aide. It could have ended there, but the remarks were accidentally caught on tape. The tape was misplaced by the aide, Jasmine MacDonnell, and fell into the hands of a reporter for the Halifax Chronicle-Herald. When the story broke, Raitt could have apologized for a poor word choice and the matter would have been forgotten. Instead, she chose to minimize, deny, and stonewall. That strategy never works because the media loves to cover defensive politicians. It makes such good video. Outraged cancer survivors called for her resignation.
This week, finally, Lisa Raitt apologized at a hastily called news conference.
After thinking about it for six months, one would hope that her apology would be world-class. You decide.
Today, I want to personally convey my deep regret for wording I used in a private discussion earlier this year which was inadvertently recorded. As somebody who has been, in their personal life, deeply affected by cancer, my intent was certainly not to show any disrespect for cancer victims, survivors or their families. However it is clear that these remarks have been interpreted in that way. So I want to offer a clear apology to anyone who has been offended by what I said. I want people to know that when I was 11 years old I watched my father pass away from colon cancer over a period of 18 months. My mother and I and my brother took care of him until his final days. Twenty years later I was in the room with my brother as he died from lung cancer.
How's her Apology?
This is such a poor apology, it's hard to know where to start.
The phrase "I want to apologize" is a trap. It signals an intention to apologize, but unless you follow up with something like "So, I'm very sorry" the phrase remains an intention. "I want to apologize" is no more about apology than "I want to lose weight" is about shedding pounds. In each case, you have to do the hard work.
Raitt also makes the classic mistake of thinking her intent is of any interest. As David Letterman learned, victims care about consequences, not intentions. It wasn't the fault of the victims that she was misunderstood. It was Raitt's fault she was misunderstood.
Bringing in her personal experience with cancer the way she does is troublesome. This is not about her experience. The apology is about the experience of her constituents with cancer. Telling her story like she did is an attempt to claim redemption for herself instead of compassion for the victim. It strikes entirely the wrong note. There's a time for her to share her story, but it's not when she's apologizing. It should be about the victims.
She also misses an opportunity to show her sincerity by offering restitution. In this case, appropriate restitution might be to make a donation to a cancer organization or, better yet, to volunteer at a cancer ward.
An ideal apology would also have included a promise to learn from the incident and not to repeat it.
Evaluation
Recognition: B
Responsibility: B
Remorse: C
Restitution: F
Repetition: F
Overall grade: D
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