School board member issues almost perfect apology for outburst

Passions run high at school board meetings.  Emotions can get out of hand.  People shout and scream and say unkind things they later regret.  Sometimes it's the elected officials doing the screaming.  

When Cape Henlopen School Board member Nobel Prettyman lost his temper, he sent a letter of apology to the Cape Gazette newspaper.  I'm indebted to blogger Mike Mahaffie for alerting me to this apology. 

Close But No Cigar

I include the letter here becuase it so tantilizingly close to a model apology from an elected leader.  It refers to an incident recently in which Mr. Prettyman lost his cool and spoke his emotions more than his mind. .

Prettyman: "My behavior was totally unacceptable."

I am a Cape Henlopen school board member because I desire for our young scholars to receive the best education possible. I have always voted with the best interests of the young scholars in mind. I am passionate about the issues before the school board.

Recently, my behavior has not lived up to the high standards at which I wish to serve. I speak specifically to the events that took place at the March 3 owners meeting. Not only was my behavior not of a high standard, but by any reasonable evaluation, my behavior was totally unacceptable. I wish I could take my offensive words back.

Unfortunately, I cannot. All I can do is apologize for my behavior and pledge not to repeat it.

When I read the article in the Cape Gazette, I cringe at the way my words must appear to the readers. I cannot blame anyone if, after reading this article, they made judgments about me. However, please do not draw any conclusions about my character based solely on a news report. A news article cannot convey my intent. In my heart of hearts I did not intend for my remarks to be taken in a racial manner. Furthermore, I did not intend for them to pit one part of the Cape community against another. I truly and deeply do apologize if my actions and words have offended anyone. I will take all the steps necessary to ensure this behavior is not repeated.

If my words were hurtful to any board members, I apologize to them for any pain I caused. I would be willing to take any training available to board members to help establish a better working relationship with my fellow board members. Since I am an elected official, I apologize to my fellow board members, district employees, citizens, parents and most especially to the young scholars.

I, Noble Prettyman, Cape board member, deeply regret that my words have distracted the district from the important business of educating our young scholars. In the future, I pledge to have the high standards expected of a Cape board member. As usual, I am available to any member of the community for input and discussion by email to n.prettyman@att.net or at 302-684-2658.

Noble Prettyman
Milton

So What's So Wrong with this Apology?

I don't want to be too harsh.  This apology is so close to perfect, that its two defects make me sigh.  

So take a minute and read the apology again. 

See what I mean?

No?  Here's a hint.

Remember that effective apology requires, one, acceptance of responsibility without hedging, and two, an emphasis on compassion for the victims rather than on redemption for the offender.